Sunday, October 25, 2009

Medical Marijuana II

Here's my side effect profile for marijuana.

  • Increased awareness of hunger - I'm 5'10" and weigh 140, and it seems like I've been stuck here for 2-3 years. I also have trouble eating in public, so I think my subconscious mind kind of pushes my appetite to the side.
  • Increased awareness of energy exertion - I usually have to take a nap every 6-8 hours, and I've never known why. But I think marijuana helps control my mind from racing. I'd usually take a nap from mental exhaustion or a headache.
  • It's easier to be me - I feel less inhibited to talk, but in a much different way than Klonopin. Instead of making it easier to just blurt out what's on my immediate attention span, marijuana let's me think through something and say it all together more coherently. And that's how I'd like to be able to talk. I'm also less worried about appearing anxious as I say something, and weed gives you "that look" (back when my Social Anxiety was very bad, I would really strain to hide it; kind of an oxymoron there), so in a way, I guess it is similar to Klonopin. But it's a different feeling. It just feels like it's hitting exactly the right receptors instead of GABA.
  • Dry eyes
  • Dry mouth
  • Some short-term memory trouble

With suicide constantly over my shoulder, the benefits definitely outweigh the problems in my opinion.
I also think the memory trouble is a key thing that people "get used to". With more control over your energy and awareness, your mind subconsciously aims some of it at improving your short-term memory. And if you're actually aware of this little strategy, you can consciously do it, making it a faster process.

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